I turned 55 (1 energy of new beginnings and how the hell did I get to be 55???) on the 28th of May and I had every intention of sending you a love missive and gifts – along with a commitment to get out of my hermit mode and show up more consistently because 

Without you, I literally would not be here.

Your support, your listening, your opening of emails, your responses, your purchases, your showing up and participating when I go live on fb or YT, and your feedback over the past 18 years have LITERALLY KEPT ME SUSTAINED ON THIS EARTH.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Then “asshole brain” took over, as it does when I find myself on the edge of an old comfort zone that feels more like a pressure cooker about to explode.

You may be thinking “that’s not a very kind or loving way to talk about yourself” – more accurately, to the ancient reptilian part of your brain that kept your ancestors  safe enough to not only survive but to create you with your own updated version of asshole brain!

Asshole brain, critter brain, inner mean girls – whatever name you give to refer to the part of you that just wants you to play safe, predictable and in the illusion that you have any control on what happens out there, yells “just give up!!”  It does not want you to follow your joy, or love what you do – it’s only agenda is TO KEEP YOU SAFE NO MATTER WHAT! and like all blood sucking energy vampires it keeps us stuck in suffering and stagnation – ugh.

Asshole brain is sneaky as hell, it always operates in a BOTH AND because in the same breath that it will give you evidence of all the times you said ‘this time will be different”, it reminds you of all the thousands you spent on business coaches and programs and distractions that never worked AND declares how broken your internal GPS is to be consuming instead of creating and that you should just give up and go pack groceries for the rest of your miserable life 🙁

So I let AH brain’s fear sit at my table, reminding me that nobody is interested in getting to the root cause of their pain and trauma, (the YT video most watched on my channel (164k) is proof that most people would rather watch a tiger chuffing than do the deep work.

I used the tools (like crazy humming and breath work) I share with my clients, to get out of crazy and come back to my intuitive senses, to be safely embodied to ask “Is it true? Is it really, really irrevocably true?”. I reviewed my SOUL CONTRACT and where to focus my attention tenderly and fiercely to stay the path of service rather than servitude. This is a biggie for empathic souls and love rebels like you and me – we know the lifetimes of torture, betrayal, enslavement and witch burnings. We are doing the work learning how to be our own authority AND it’s an ongoing dance with the shadows – it’s uncomfortable present moment to moment work to not get sucked back into old habits that die hard until they are well and truly dead. Asshole brain in the final death throes will thrash and wail and lament!

If you can relate to where I was on my birthday re- evaluating everything for weeks in compassionate enquiry with AH brain or a temper tantrum, I invite you to get  really honest and clear about your values and WHY you won’t give up on your calling to change lives through your gifts and abilities. I know beyond the doubt of AH brain, that we, a collectively, entangled single organism with sensitive nervous systems are suffering silently from lifetimes of abuse AND that we are ready to heal – to rewire our nervous systems by dismantling the old belief systems and programming.

If you have been self sabotaging by comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides, chasing algorithms over showing up in service, going into debt to join a $10k mastermind or buying a year long $50k program because if you paid anything less it can’t possibly be any good or maybe you are whipping up some program that is out of integrity, manipulating through FOMO or preying on Asshole brains insecurities because you have to pay your rent – please STOP and let your heart lead the way. You don’t have to do anything the way everyone else is doing it. I opted out of this way of “doing business” and chasing the carrots after learning the hard way that it’s heartbreaking. It’s exhausting. It hurts me and other people AND it doesn’t lead to long-term business health or sustainability.

No matter how much we like to think this “great plan-demic reset” has reshaped our moral codes and ethics, we are a long way off from letting the old Business and money making models of “Crappuccino” die, you know the ones that include modules and group coaching and killer marketing and endless testimonials and people who say that it changed their lives/beings/finances/income/weight/hair colour/all of the above. (If you think I’m referring to one specific person or program, think again — this is the standard, not the singularity!)

I once got so caught up in “finally belonging” I did not even know I had become a recruiter to a cult and spent 3 years trying to escape and say sorry for the damage I had done but I really bought the lie. Another time I had so convinced myself with the help of asshole brain, that I was so broken that the only way to “fix myself” was to use my last $20,000 savings to take part in a mastermind and, over the course of the years following, to UN learn everything I had learned in that space. Unlearning has been a deeply difficult and ultimately satisfying pursuit, because now I can help you get out of your own way and go all in to the business of doing YOU.

What I want to say is when I decoded my Soul Contract, I did not like it one bit, I wanted the silver spoon, the “love and light” way. I fought it for years until I came full circle back to my Soul contract and asked the Universe to show me the way.I have to constantly remind myself that there is no quick fix or spiritual bypass or guru out there that will change my fate or destiny. Only I can overcome my challenges, build on my strengths, manifest my dreams and access my true life’s purpose, my soul purpose.And the same is true for you – you can keep avoiding your purpose or you can surrender into it and do the necessary work.

I know my karmic patterns, the talents I possess, what I am here to achieve and when I look at everything past, present and future holographically, am I able to navigate shadow and light, asshole brain and intuitive knowing and move forward full of myself (self fulfilled).

So thank you for reading this, for loving me  as I am! I can’t promise you that I will be consistently mailing you every week or showing up on facebook live every day or hustling you with offers to buy (cue eye roll from asshole brain and every business coach out there telling you/ me you will never be successful or make consistent income THIS WAY).

They are probably right and  I know myself – I won’t show up for the sake of playing a number games, to get the attention of algorithms or when a wound is still bleeding. I know my upper limits, I listen to my body (it only took  a few rounds of adrenal burnout, body breakdowns and spiritual crisis), I trust my gut and anything less becomes exhausting, self destructive, inauthentic and you deserve more.

I also know the value of systems and structure to the day and that when I stray off the path, asshole brain takes me into familiar territory of self judgement and ultimately the worst form of self abandonment. I know it’s a constant moment by moment practise to stay grounded and focus on one small “Holy Shift” at a time. That it’s important to take responsibility and do the work to get where you want to be with the least amount of struggle and that to do so means giving yourself time to celebrate your small wins, rest after accomplishing a task and to get support and accountability from people who you can trust to speak truth when you can’t do it for yourself.

You know when you are basically frozen when Asshole brain wants you to THINK about your work more than it wants you to DO your work?

Action makes asshole brain freak out.

Making and sharing your truest work is vulnerable. And asshole brain doesn’t want to be vulnerable. (See: vulnerability 101 — you can do this!)

If you’re the thinking-about-it-thinking-about-it-thinking-about-it type, what’s the smallest bit of action, one HOLY SHIFT that needs to happen in order to move your work and your life forward? You’re capable of taking those steps.

If procrastination, the need to go back to school or be ‘official,’ the constant critique of ‘you’re doing it wrong,’ amped up distractions, and the ever-present ‘just give up’ chant don’t take you out of the game, asshole brain gets more subtle.

In some cases, you’ll prioritize others’ work over your own. You’ll find no time for your ‘real’ work and let other people’s needs take over your schedule.

This is easy to do if you’ve got kids! You could take 30 minutes to work on that thing, or you could cut out early and go back to the ever-present needs of tiny beings. This becomes a habit, et voila! You’ve never got time to do YOUR work again.

You’ve got no time. You’ve got no chance. (AND there we are, back at ‘suffering, regret and shame and pain..’ Asshole brain is predictable that way!)

This should be the part where I have an AMAZING OFFER that will SOLVE YOUR LIFE. Alas!  Asshole brain isn’t one of those things you can outrun or out manoeuver in a single move.

The work of overcoming your particular flavour of asshole brain is a lifelong endeavour. (Read: it’s a real pain in the ass.)

You can do this.

You can refuse to believe the worst things your brain says about you.

You can make shifts that help you get your work done with less static from your thoughts.

You can learn to be vulnerable and follow your own value systems. 

You can have healthy boundaries and keep your heart wide open. 

You can allow yourself to dream, to grow and expand without losing months to overwhelm and procrastination aka fear of failure courtesy of asshole brain who WILL remind you of that one time in…………… 

You. Can. Do. This.

If you’d like my help doing it, please join me at 5pm-ish UK time for a 10 minute HOLY SHIFTS – small steps that create massive change.

I also have 3, “DECODING YOUR SOUL CONTRACT” sessions available this week, if you are ready to use this mid way point of solstice TO HARVEST THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOURS up until now and want to understand the spiritual map of your life through, your personal blueprint hidden within your name.There is no fancy lead magnet or sales page which thousands of testimonials – just a simple invitation to help you decode your fate and destiny ad save you a lot of money, time and unnecessary suffering and searching for what you came here to be, do, know, trust and create. There is also no “fake scarcity” here, as many of you know I have been a gypsy for almost 2 years and move around a bit. I leave my current house sit on Friday and don’t always have internet ,so due to the preparation time (approx 2 hours) of decoding your Soul Contract before we meet for 60-90 minutes on zoom and my current private client bookings just reply to this email and we can confirm your time.

The SOUL contract decoded session costs only $175/ £120.

If you have had a session of any kind with me you know the value is life changing.

I also have not raised my investment cost of private sessions for over 5 years, so if you would like to book time with me for yourself or your beloved pet/s  I would love work with you .

And of course this blueprint will give you answers and insights into physical and spiritual karma aka (We’ll tackle your particular flavour of asshole brain while making strides toward creating your most profitable and meaningful life and business.

Much love always


PS: If you made it to the end of this mail, thank you -I trust it made you laugh, gave you some food for thought and reminded you that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now.Clique but true as often the 2×4 of pain is the pathway to our purpose 🙂

Thank you for the patience to read long -as much as I try I just can’t write short. I get totally immersed in the message and I can’t just bang out crap for the sake of connecting with you.

If you are new here, welcome. If you are interested in working privately with me – I don’t follow a formula, I follow energy. Which is why your session may include a mix of energy work, channeled guidance and practical mentoring. As an energy intuitive, I tune into the beliefs, thoughts and unresolved emotions that are coming up to be worked with. In a session, I facilitate the release of dense energy that is impacting upon your emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. This may include birth, childhood or more recent experiences, past lives and ancestral lines. At other times a session may be more practical, sharing teachings and practices to restore inner balance, boundaries and your connection to yourself.As a channel, I connect with high transmissions of energy, to share guidance for your healing and growth. The guidance shared does not fortune tell – these sessions assist you to recognise the unresolved life events, and inner patterning that shapes your daily experience. As your awareness expands, you can begin to heal, soothe and nurture love for yourself. Guided back to Soul and your intuition, you can feel empowered to live from an enlightened sense of Self. Your perspective may change, as you experience more ease, clarity and spaciousness come into your life.When you grow a conscious relationship to energy, particularly the energy of your emotions – you can consciously and compassionately release yourself from suffering, to create a life of greater ease, peace and purpose.