How are you? I don’t know about you but I have been feeling like I am living between worlds where the construct of time has collapsed and their is so much peace, the stillness inside me. On the surface I feel quite the opposite, urgent, relentless in its attention-seeking and restless.I love this picture one of my clients painted of me some time ago. It reminds me of just how much I love animals and how beautiful this place is we call home. The magic of connections with incredible people like you who make my heart so happy – thank you for YOU.

Considering that tomorrow is the 22nd, master number of the architect, the builder and alchemy. The full moon is here once again inviting us to look n the dark side, work with grief and let us work on it without rushing to be somewhere lighter or brighter. What grief has been showing me is that just as Autumn leaves fall and the trees send their life force energy down to the roots, we are in a time of decay. We must lean into radical trust that everything that has been stripped away, let die is breaking down into mulch, composting and in so doing nourishing the seeds of our dreams. Just because we cannot “see” the harvest as we might want, doesn’t mean there is none, grief asks that we develop new ways to see. The dark descent is where we are learning to get skilled at tending to our unprocessed grief and like all seeds, like an embryo in utero the dark is vital to our growth. Find equanimity and balance in your life. This includes being in touch with the seasons and cycles of nature with the emphasis on finding balance in your relationship with yourself and others, with nature herself. Ask yourself “what season am I in? Death and decay or rebirth or the liminal space of the underworld or the overworld?”

Oscar Wilde calls grief standing on Holy ground. Like the balancing scales of Libra, the darkness brings us into harmony with our shadows where all stand equal in the balance of opposites. In other words not as white being the opposite of black, but in the knowledge that just as the day gives way to the night, autumn to winter, expansion to contraction, there is the unblack, the zero point field, a liquefaction of sorts that happens which we need to pay more attention to.It may feel like there is nothing there, but when we hone in our vision,like the Hubble telescope on a pinprick of the cosmos, it is teeming with light, billions of galaxies. That is what I sense is happening on a cellular level, more so in the space between our cells right now.

You may just feel a lot more tension building in your body or be more triggered and provoked by the intensity in those around you. However, it shows up, lean into the discomfort and let it move you deeper into the darkness to gain wisdom from the unseen realms of sorrow and heartbreak. This is not the time to rush toward the light.I invite you to stare up at the beautiful full harvest moon in grateful awe and then tap into the mystery of your inner pilot light to the gifts of the long dark descent. Let yourself fall in love with your shadows and belong completely to yourself so that you can belong to the world. We need each other now more than ever if we are to transmute darkness into light, and that takes radical awareness to who we are becoming and a return to trusting that just being alive right now is miraculous.

During this time, you might ask yourself “How can I find balance in my personal life? and “What can I do to find more balance in my personal relationships and make sure I’m not overgiving or over-receiving?”

I have almost completed writing a book on Pet loss, death, dying and the grief we experience when our beloved animal companions leave their fleshy bodies and return to the unseen realms. What I have realised in the process of getting it out into the world in the hopes that it will be useful is how nothing ever completes, it just continues in another shape or form. When I was first diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 18 years ago, bankrupt, homeless and broken wide open,  I realised many things. That while I had nothing to give,I was still loveable, that my value was not defined by external success, wealth or material things. That my will to live is stronger than my shame of wanting to die and that I am enough even when I feel unworthy of receiving. When I dropped my resistance to receiving because of my faulty belief that it was contingent on my capabilities, my wellness, my contributions, I was able to grieve for all the parts of myself I had disowned and exiled. I could be needy and still belong to myself, be more compassionate. There are moments today where I want to cast those parts of myself out and close my heart because it hurts too much and I do for a while. The edges of unmetabolised grief are so sharp and it takes constant practice to sit with it and listen to the many stories of my life I have worked so hard to leave behind. I can’t control what happens next but I can keep doing the work so that my brilliant conscious body does not feel the need to create another tumour to protect me from my self – the virus of the mind wateeko, that visits so often. I know that I may not be here long, so every single moment and day is so obviously precious in choosing how I belong to myself, to others and to our collective predicament.

The animals have been my constant strength through every sorrow and joy. This book is for them and for people like you who love them and honour them as your Soul’s messengers. They are the ones who patiently encourage us to trust, trust, trust without the need to know anything. The animals, the natural world are calling us to come into balance with them ad to trust we are intricately woven into the web of life, the essence of being — that whatever it is that accomplished every miracle of this evolutionary journey — is alive now as me and as you. Really. Trust yourself to live radically alive, and please HELP me come up with a name for the book that describes “Pet loss how to navigate through dying, death, grief and the afterlife”.

I have made a few videos touching on some of the topics around Pet Loss and grief from the book on my Youtube channel in the hopes that they will bring some comfort and awareness to those who are heartbroken. Please let me know if you find them helpful and share them with animal lovers you know who may be struggling with the loss of a beloved fur baby right now. Your support means so much to me and by you watching, commenting and sharing I get to help more people and grow my channel too.

Also please let me know what questions you have or what you are most wanting some clarity on right now so I can support you with that. I have been a little quiet on social – as you know I have been in the long dark with grief on so many levels and I listen to that better now. if you have been feeling pulled by the obligations of being “out there” when your Soul and body is calling you to go within, be gentle on yourself, trust that quiet voice of intuition and it will lead you back to your heart with integrity and a sacredness.

I want to thank you for YOU, who you are being in the world and how much you matter and move me in incredible ways to serve more.

If you would like to have a private session with me to assist you in metabolising your unprocessed grief so that you can show up in the world and share your gifts, I have a few sessions available for you or your pets for only $150 instead of my regular price of $250. We will spend 60-90 minutes getting to the root cause of your physical or mental challenges and create a holistic, personal prescription for health, abundance and a brilliant future. Just reply here and I will send you all the details. Don’t wait until your body says No, listen to that small voice that’s saying, “it’s time,” and choose to commit to your own expansion and growth.