The leaves have started to turn into the autumnal hues of fiery oranges, yellows and burnt umbers and it’s getting really cold.

I am not fond of the wet English weather but I do love the crackle of a good fire and the invitation to slow down and contract.

There is no point in going against the flow, together let us turn inwards with the season of winter and embrace the long dark

descent of our collective grief.

I have been encouraging my clients to sit with grief, to be the silent witness to their no, as their bodies are moving lifetimes of

unresolved trauma, metabolising their grief so that it can be transmuted into joy. It is important to honor this liminal space,

where we find ourselves perched on the threshold of time. To be compassionate with ourselves and others when we encounter

rough gods, and the sharp edges of hurt disguised as anger and know we are intrinsically intertwined and entangled in the long

descent of unresolved grief and trauma patterns.

As the forces and natural rhythms of nature continue to move, a new month arrives and with Samhain at the end of October

marking the end of the harvest and the start of winter we are on Holy ground. The veils are thin and Samhain reminds us of

the illusion of time in the “no time” or still point calling us back to nature and to let grief work us as we work with it as the

portals to the Otherworld  open.

I encourage you to get curious about your own personal rituals and where you can bring back or create new ceremonies to honor

the season you find yourself in, to how you belong to yourself and others and with the Earth.

“We went down into the silent garden. Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. 

Everything is transfixed,only the light move.”- Leonora Carrington


The key themes and practices of this month that have been shown to me seem highly counter intuitive and paradoxical –

betwix and between, ceremony and ritual, protective and cleansing. I admit that I found myself having a temper tantrum

and a bordering on hysteria laugh simultaneously earlier this week as I found myself in what was and what is not –

the no time, time. I was on the verge of over heating, my eyes wide, the animal inside about to bear her teeth a

nd lash out at life and then I remembered to go outside, nothing to push against and let nature hold me and all the fog had cleared.

I mean really how could we expect any less from the mercury retrograde and trickster energies that have come

galloping in on the back of Chiron, the wounded healer to work with the energy of death to really bring this

home to our hearts and a wailing ego!

Here are some suggestions to support you in identifying the qualities and issues in your life which need to be

transformed in the long dark descent:

  • Permission to be broody and dark so you can rekindle your inner fire light – surrender to the darkness,light a fire
  • Own your no to life, stand in a holy protest to the energies of chaos – dig your feet into the earth, look up,
  • reflect to renew your commitments
  • Make an offering to your ancestors, to your place of origin and to the animal companions that are in spirit that are your umbilical cord to the divine
  •  Forgive yourself for ever thinking you cannot own your no to life so that when the pain of your internal protest arises you can feel that part wholly and completely.

Be gentle on your sweet soft animal body that so easily bruises as you leap into the divine and brutal force of this life.

Isn’t it amazing that our heart’s are so strong and even when they are broken into a million tiny pieces they keep on beating

so we can love and lose over and over again. That in your torment and your overwhelming sorrow you will come to know your

torment as the unwelcome guest you feed at your table . You will know the pain of refusing this love,for it somehow teaches

you how to love and choose, love itself. You will be alright, rest in the darkness, let it hold you because love lies here

behind the breath of fire that sometimes pushes against your back.

I want to thank you all for your encouragement and support in helping me to decide on a name for my pet loss and

grief book and for those of you who so bravely offered to be an early reader. I have called it

“Until We Meet Again – How to Carry your Grief, Find Peace after Pet Loss and Connect in the Afterlife.”

I am waiting to get the final cover design back and the final edit so I can get it formatted and into your loving hands.

For those of you who have lost a pet and are heart broken, I am so sorry and you will find your way through the dark

woods back to more joy. I am giving you a sneak peek into the chapter on ritual and ceremony for you to read below

and would love to know your thoughts. Just hit reply here if you feel moved to do so. I have also put together a series of

short videos on some of the most asked for questions on pet loss, grief and connecting to your beloved in spirit on my youtube

channel and again, would appreciate you subscribing to my channel, watching the videos and leaving a comment.

I would really like for more people to find my offerings and by you watching and sharing them,

the algorythm will help me to do that. Here is one about Soul Contracts and twin flame pets.

Thank you again for being here. For being my witness. For your light and your dark.

For loving diving deep into the human experience as much as I do.

I love you

Exerpt from Until we meet Again – Chapter 21: Sacred Ritual and Ceremony

There is something very sacred about creating a circle, ritual and ceremony that acts as a bridge or golden chord between the living and the dead. It holds us together in times of transition between what has been and what will become. Rituals create symbolic spaces for us to express our feelings and deepen our interconnectedness to the invisible realms and to bear witness to the great elements of nature.

For centuries, women have come together in sacred circles to birth babies, heal the sick, celebrate unions and escort the dying into the underworld. In red tents, women gather during moon time to speak to each other through stories of their first menstruation and the blessings of fertility and creation.

It is no surprise that in death there are so many rituals and practices of mourning publicly, in storytelling, to pass on the wisdom and legacy of the one who has passed so that future generations will remember where they came from. It is no surprise that death is a great undertaking that needs to be held and tended to in all the details of what must be done.

In a shame-based death phobic culture, we have lost the wisdom of the tribe. In our effort to be independent we have forgotten that we need each other to thrive. Our relationships with our animal companions remind us, give us the love and connection to our Soul’s in times where loving people feels hostile and dangerous. The pets that share our lives and know us so intimately live Ubuntu. This is a word from the Xhosa people of South Africa that describes the inter dependence of nature, our true nature. It roughly translates that I am what I am, I exist because of who we are, and that without the web of life there is no I. That. we are in relations with our food, the trees, the plants, the animals, other people, our physical bodies, all that is seen and unseen. It brings deep reverence and gratitude to all that gives us life; that without the air, the water, the soil we cease to exist. Ubuntu reminds us that the greater part of the soul lies outside the body – it’s true intimacy with a pet, a tree, a friend, a lover and it happens in the space of contact in the between, in connectivity. That in order to live well, we need to be in a web of relationships and this is tribal, it’s root chakra.

Ubuntu tells us that I am one of these people not, who are my people but who are the people of which I am one which is a different way of seeing it. It is not who I claim to be but who I am claimed by and who is obligated through social or spiritual contract to assure that I exist. Our animal companions are not ours, like children, they choose to be in relationship with us. Within that space there is true belonging, reciprocity and mutual consent to grow and evolve and honor that which gives me life.

Jung says: “one cannot know itself with another.”

Our animal companions show us the parts of ourselves we disown and judge as not enough. As masters of unconditional love, they reflect back the light in us where we only see dark. They teach us the value of community; they connect us to people who are only strangers until we say hello. And you thought those walks to the park, or the puppy training class were all for your dog! Our animal companion even after they have left their physical form continue to teach us to make every ordinary moment a spiritual experience. They remind us that even though we don’t consciously choose our wounds, we can use them to reshape us into something beautiful.

Every walk you took, every cuddle, all the adventures, the challenges you had when your pet was alive, to them was a ritual and ceremony.

Through their passing our pets want us to stop hiding and ……………