Is that you beloved? Is that really you?

It may be a strange question I am asking you, but I just wanted to be sure that you never forget who you really are and that I see you, really I do.

I have been wondering a lot about life and death and what this thing called being human is really about. Those eternal big questions I seem to revisit with more urgency when the world gets stirred up on the surface and I wonder where did we go and who have we become?

It is worth reminding you that we are going to be in Chiron retrograde until the end of the year and so it is no surprise that we are being asked to be our own medicine and accept the weeping wound as a form of surrendering into the pain so we can heal in these times of darkness. If we keep resisting the darkness within ourselves we miss the beauty and brilliance and the initiation, the space to breathe in life and our desire for change.

So many of my clients and friends, the light givers who have been doing the deep work for decades have felt the polarities in the darkness of psychic attacks amplifying in divine synchronicity with the solar flares this month pouring more light into or electric bodies.

There is so much density in the world right now, a lot of people are suffering and being overloaded with fear and anxiety and it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos. It looks like division but really it is about the power of choice to move into ad radiate your own light or stay in the dark. Tend to your dreams and the images, have a conversation with whomever appears in your dream state and ask for guidance because there is medicine there.

We are the microcosm of the macrocosm, the as above so below and just as the sun is going through its own death and rebirth cycle, so are we.

We are ascending and shifting as all of this plasma light energy that is hitting the planet is indeed a part of our path of evolution and asking of us all to stop resisting, to let everything you believed to be true and everything you have been told about yourself fall out from underneath you.

Trust that the truth is beyond what we can see right in the fog of fear, in the smoke and mirrors watch for the synchronicities that appear in those moments where disillusionment and powerlessness, the trickster is at play. I believe that all that is required of us right now is to stay fast and know that everything you feel is okay – you are not lost.

You  have not lost your faith, your medicine is to sit still in the liminal space behind the fog and continue to remove the energetic blindfold of our ancestral trauma bonds and abusive programming, to keep devotional in your energy management and allow your physical body to rest and repair as the ruptures reveal themselves ready to be healed.

Unplug from all the disturbing images and breaking news overwhelming your exhausted nervous system and send soul prayers to coming in from my family and friends affected by the uprisings and lawlessness in South Africa, the wildfires in Canada, and the flooding in Germany.

I am choosing not to lose myself in the fear programs and mind control, to use my co creative forces and intuitive abilities to connect with the light beings supporting all of us in the

higher realms.

I have spent another week, listening to what is being asked of me as I write agonisingly slowly more words for a book about Pet Grief. It is an uncomfortable process and I want it to be done while knowing that just like our grief, we are never done and death is not the end. I am trying to find the beauty in my discomfort in the quiet moments that demand absolutely no explanation. That there is no shame in moving to the rhythm of my own drum and that I don’t need to succumb to the demands of others who look at how I am living my life right now as not living because it bears no resemblance to their own.

I dont want to be rushed and miss the sacred minutes of heart- soaking tenderness that belongs to me uniquely even though I feel the pressure that is not mine pushing me to hurry up and fix what is not broken. It’s a going down and in, not up and out. It is a consciously choice point to disconnect from location, time, and space and to allow myself to get “lost” in the past, to relive moments of deep joy and grief and to uncover more truths about life after life – about the persistence of consciousness after death.

I realize how easy it is to lose our connection with the present moments,to our true nature and by asking where did you go? we can locate where all the broken pieces of our hearts land. We can find ourselves in right relationship with a strength we never knew we had or in a state of shelter receive the gifts of others,the presence of great mysteries within and around us and stop ourselves from sinking.

We know it in our bones, there is no escape from the fire within and we must stay to share our medicine in a world drowning in a death phobic sea of lies and deception.

Our shifting world demands our emergence from the shadows and that we may use our voices in a good way to stay when we feel shattered. To bear witness to how we manage to put our two feet on the ground each day when our knees are shaking, to walk the spiral path in our transition.

Part of what we need to do now is rest, as we are able. To let ourselves fall apart, to lose ourselves momentarily in the uncertainty perhaps.

Please just don’t stay there longer than you need to. Listen to the call, the quiet voice of your intuition, the synchronicties calling you to feel what you need to feel, to find words and new intelligence of practice in all the spaces you inhabit and work in and relate in. To acknowledge what you’ve survived, what you’ve lost, what you’ve begun to learn and remember

– live your life in widening circles that reach out across the world, knowing that you may not complete this last one but that you will give yourself to it.

“I circle around God, around the primordial tower.

I’ve been circling for thousands of year

and I still don’t know: am I a falcon,

a storm or a great song?”

Rainer Maria Rilke 

It’s ok to not know where the hell you are going. There is no going back.

Trust in the divine timing of all things if you find yourself ready to leave something behind, and not quite ready to move forward yet.

Your soul knows you are omnipotent, rest in the waiting room, push pause on the world that rewards busy,fast, hustle and chasing.

Widen your circle, integrate the fragmented parts and pieces of yourself you have scattered, disowned and abandoned along the way and when have, shed your old tired, worn-out skin and the need to know before your next step. This is your right of passage.

You have never lost your way. Keep shape-shifting and use the map carved into your heart to stay the path of the light and love where ever you land.

Let your growing pains bring you home to your heart.

Keep meditating on softness – this may help you to soothe the fight and stop creating battles that are not even there within your wounded child.

I would love to know where you found yourself. Let me know here and what questions, insights or awareness came up if you managed to read this to the end.

I love you