FIRSTLY, My apologies if you see this love missive and hit delete – because…..

you are suffering from compassion fatigue

Honestly, I am finding it near impossible to complete this and send it to you ( I am feeling all the feels too and its exhausting some days more than others but I FEEL it all)

or you know when I write the word, it’s not light and feel good

and sometimes you just can’t go there because you know its not an easy read

and its going to trigger you

– I get you, AND please stay with me –

take breaks if you need to, follow your body’s natural impulse to protect you

but PLEASE read this

because we are shattering paradigms in the depth of the conversations we are having in the dialogue over here.

…. it is changing lives, you are changing lives – I know you are feeling it…..

Please do -June and the first lunar eclipse of 2020, a time of renewal, rebirth and new beginnings – a time to activate and recalibrate from the Heart chakra – reminding us how timelines are collapsing along with the lies and limitations as we head into mid year -and I think we can all agree that there is so much going on right in front of us, rising up in waves of heartache, eruptions in suppressed rage waking up the sleeping tiger, inviting us to touch our inner jaguar, re/member what we came here to be.

I spoke about what I sense as gift of June energies here and how to take the first step into trusting you don’t need to know, to reflect what is in your shadow side of trauma patterns, your intentions in the choices you have made and what you are about to make in your choices in as much as you can see in the wholism of everything by going inwards – shadow dancing and in the imperfect process do an inventory of everything holding you back from living a beautiful, abundant life. (The Shadow dancing course, plus BONUSES including all the breath work bonuses is still on a PAY WHAT YOU CAN until the end of June because I can pivot intuitively and offer you what you have been asked so you can claim your power)

This energy alignment reflects the potential for us to see the deep psychological messages we have accepted and internalized which dehumanise our sense of value and power.

Mars and Neptune in Pisces will help us become sensitive to the cultural separation and class division that has been at the root of our world value structure. We have built in ideals and truths that enforce separation and segregation. The Sun conjunct Venus in Gemini and the Moon in Sagittarius will expose the areas of our individual and collective memory in which this distortion is in existence.

Vesta is conjunct the North Node – drawing us forward to our Sacred Focus and Greatest Devotion.

“The North Node is in Gemini but Vesta is in Cancer- the sign of the Great Mother.

We don’t download awakening, we cultivate it, nurture it, question those aspects of self that mitigate against it.

“And in doing so we discover that wise action in this moment can change the next.

“That by being present to the full triumph and catastrophe of the human experience we can recalibrate it and shape the course of history rather than simply be shaped by it.

“And we’re currently living at a historical crossroads of monumental proportions.

“To choose well we need to harness the power of Saturn’s journey into Aquarius to engage courageous thought and nurture fresh perspectives.

the influence its Aquarian journey would have over our individual and collective sense of self.

“They affirm the healing radiance of the human spirit and the unadulterated power unleashed when we remember who we really are – divine through and through, and equally human. Of this world and all others everywhere.

“This power cannot be diminished by tyranny or lies, by manipulation or fear.

“It is unassailable. Always. And it knows the truth. We know the truth. This is the message of Saturn in Aquarius…

“It’s a long road ahead. Courage will be needed.

“As will a sense of humor and the ability to know when to speak up and when to keep one’s counsel for a more propitious time. No outcome is assured so complacency is best avoided.

“That said we need to know our own limits and take care of ourselves first and foremost.

As one of my heroes, fellow Condor – John Perkins – (Confessions of an Economic Hitman changed my life during my 20’s, in trying to find meaning in the madness of conspiracy theories, colonialism and the way 1st world countries were raping and pillaging 3rd world countries like my birthplace Africa)

– speaks of in his new book, our survival depends on us Touching the Jaguar , taking the shamanic path to walk with our most deepest fears……. like a waking tiger, to do our shadow work and hopefully trust in our abilities enough to return to stewardship not destruction of our beloved Pachamama.

I have been finding “being human” moving me every which way and up I never imagined possible, to the point where my Gemini communicator, has been pendulating in self dialogue, sitting in the darkness out of alignment with wholism where my soul knows it has been violated in the micro of the macro, the intent of the violation and in the discomfort of the downloads, the charge in the channelling, the nausea in the purging, the exhaUstion in the clearing, the dark, brutal in releasing so much shame from one space to another, too quickly to put into words (Gemini retrograde in al my FLAW E some ness!!)

It has showed up in long periods of pushing pause on the world, turning inwards, long sits in my dark shadow, wailing in the waiting room with grief, momentary bursts of light weaving in hysterical bouts of laughter

….and truth be told choosing the spoken word as easier, simpler, more heart-led by mostly sharing my insights raw, discombobulated, erratic and uncensored fb lives.

5 day Bootcamp FREE abundant beautifu life

I shared my internal working of the mystical messiness of unpacking with a fb live series – 5 Day FREE Healthy Body, Quiet Mind, Abundant Life Bootcamp. (It is not too late for you to join us for Day 4 tomorrow and catch up on the first 3 days of micro shifts and mighty co-regulation through simple tools to stay safely embodied, exploring your ever changing value systems and finding association through the intentionality of where you put your power in your psyche and where you are at in how you think, speak through to yourself in your psychic energy bodies, as both Condor and Eagle people.

We are coming together to communicate with each other and the unseen patterns generating what you think, to BE the Change in times of great uncertainty and to heal our own trauma wounds as part of our global, collective trauma that we have seen so much, that we no longer “SEE” it. Like that old analogy of a frog in boiling water that doesn’t feel it when it starts warm and slowly heats up.

The water is boiling. 

In many ways, we live in an unseen fragmentation, and we contribute to ways of acting and behaving, (or not acting), that perpetuate this fragmentation.

Wouldn’t you like to be part of the healing and wholism of our world in regards to this issue? This is part of our collective evolution, my friends.

Part of what it means to be WHOLE and Human.

This outrage, this righteous anger, this is all part of the kharmic journeying of these times for balance, harmony, justice, stewardship…and what so many of us have been asking for. As a privileged white African growing up in Rhodesia during a violent bush war, ignorant to colonialism and oppression of the local tribes, moving to South Africa after apartheid and not knowing what it was or why and seeing the violence and rage acted out by black people against white people get worse, having a gun to my head and my 3 year olds by men who had hatred in their eyes and felt entitled to take our belonging.

….. in all the stories, racisim, reverse racism, killing of white farmers, acts of violence against people, animals, the Earth – all playing out our kharmic nodes, our patterns of abuse and trauma that sums up

“Hurt people hurt – themselves and others” and while this is not what I want to speak of today, suffice to say hurt and trauma and cultural mores and moralities, familial and ancestral trauma patterns – it’s all messed with me, thrown me around in the judgements, shaken me and spat me out in the either /or realties….

and in touching the panther, waking the tiger – YOU and I have more work to do, and do again in the unlearning, remember, in the questioning, in the forgiveness in the receiving and reparation – because we are live what we learn as the sum total of our past experiences and it is only in the unlearning, in the not knowing, in the weaving of a new living legacy, a story that is true not the truth – that we can heal.

This will NOT go away and it is time to face it together by doing the shadow work. It must be addressed because I want more for you through the mystical interventions beyond the constructs of the trauma patterns you are already in.If you have been trying to law of attraction, formulaic duality that has kept you on the hamster wheel of black and white, right and wrong, good or bad, this space is not for you. I am not here to make you feel good (although that is a by product of dancing with your shadows and consistently doing the work, claiming your power, being your own medicine) I am here to empower you to acknowledge you have trauma patterns, to stop the self shredding, to find the gifts in every trigger so that you get to change your patterns and your life!!

Find your truths, get off the hamster wheel of band aid, BS LOA, live beyond the mind, tapped in to the intuitive field of wholism by seeing triggers to get your attention because what you have been choosing up until now has NOT been sustainable because you are out of alignment with the law of wholism and know it WILL keep showing up every time you deny, reject, abandon and cut off what potential you truly have. Part of being human is that most growth, awareness and interventions from spirit will come up every time you dare bravely to go in to your own power play of your value systems that come in the middle of a dark night of the soul in the next lie you tell yourself, the next betrayal, the next shame game you play with someone else……. Covid 19, the BLM movement – this is only the beginning of our next shake up to look at our inter connectedness and the truth of that inside of ourselves that will walk you and me back into a heart led life – TRUSTING you are enough, you will always have, be and feel more than enough whether you are aware of it or not….

What gives words power is intention and association – so spend some time to explore what words in your life have power and why? The association of words like C, turns my bones.

Then move into intention of why you say what you say, that moves you to harm or to heal in the psyche and your trauma patterns. If you want a reminder go back and listen to these 5 magic little words, as what we spell into the world to heal here.

Neptune is offering us all a magical intervention to live an abundant, beautiful life from truths or choose to stay stuck in the duality of win/lose, success/failure and your esteem value of how you see yourself in everyone else – the mirror work horses generously offer up to us.

Please learn more with me with an open mind. And let’s stay in the conversation that changes the world.

Are you in?

May our hearts continue to break open so we feel the depths of our love and hold the world within us.

I see you

I honor you on your journey and your own truth

I love you

See you inside of HBQM closed FB group

and if you want more soul tribe, empowered medicine to know yourself INTIMATELY

beyond shaming and projections and judgements

in unconditional presence with yourself

Join me and my ally in all things conscious, sacred activism Eva Servais right here tomorrow at 7pm UK time

Always your fierce medicine woman


PS: How will you affirm your dark side today> Can you affirm your rage or anger , what about your jealousy, your judgemental side – we spoke into the territory of knowing what you value and not from your mind construct but from your intuitive, already ascended self that is wholism and love and the question itself of while there is dark or light, the wholism, the whole self, the healer be healed in you is whatever love would do here in this moment <3 now that is an intuitive, irrational, divinely guided mystical process, not a logical, mental, dualistic BS, LOA mind fu$k that is very inconvenient space for your programmed life of either or, no choice reality to the power of choice is yours and your alone in communion and inter connectedness ….. and yes you earn FREE will by doing the work – being you moment to moment