I am sending this weekly love note later than usual because I wanted it to land in your inbox with my gratitude for being on this brut- iful journey called being human with me, on the 4-4-4- gateway! You may have not been feeling the influx of light or be able to see the nonstop activity of solar flares and geomagnetic storms supercharging and infusing our cells but just like our ancestral helping spirits, animal guides, and the angelic realm, they are with us, protecting and loving us.444 is the symbol for Archangels. 444 symbolizes the dedication and drive to attain your higher purpose.

I know many of you have felt quite the opposite this past week (as have I) – and yet I have been unable to name it as one thing. Perhaps because this is something that has not existed up until now. Whatever it is, it isn’t comfortable but a necessary reminder that we must continue to do the deep work if we are to move and metabolize the next wave of our personal and collective unresolved grief and trauma patterns. We are in the long dark descent of loss and that requires grieving times and sacred sendoffs. The magnification of cleansing energies and the global reach of information and images means that every day we are given an opportunity to place loss within the framework of our worldview, our faith.

On some days we grieve. On some days we are fragile and human. On other days we return to a larger truth, rooted in our acceptance of the shadow as a catalyst, as a purposeful part of the whole.

We have been through much and will continue to unravel and fall apart and out of the ashes emerge as what my greatest teachers soul loss imagined as chronic depression and anxiety taught me – to find all the pieces of me as you find more of you, through whatever form or format our life takes on. I have found some comfort in the awareness that chaos builds our resilience and everything keeps moving even when it feels static. That there are gifts and value in everything especially the most terrifying moments when the unthinkable happens. So whatever is weighing heavy on your heart or you are carrying on your back, stop resisting the fragmented parts of you you have been push you all the way down on your back so be caught and held by the present you in the dark night so you may rest into the you, you are becoming.

If you watched the Oscars and witnessed Will Smith’s trauma response play out, an aspect of you most likely got triggered by your own unresolved big T or little t traumas from your childhood (or, adulthood). When you get trauma-informed and trained support then you can begin to understand how your brain and body have stored that traumatic memory in ways that can be re-activated by present-day interactions and situations (including witnessing someone else’s trauma response.)
The actors on the big stage of life, like Will Smith and Chris Rock, gave us a divinely synchronized opportunity to use the April energies to see where our CHIRONIC wounded child parts are acting out in protest for safety, connection, and belonging so that we cab take aligned action to restore our true nature and create a purpose-driven life.

if you prefer to listen than read I made a shorter video about that here:

This is what the 4-4-4- energies invite us to fall (Mars/Saturn conjunction 22° Aquarius where Mars, the sign of action, desires, goals, meets Saturn, the sign of discipline, practicality, and strong work ethic) Use your determined conscious focus to take action to fall into grace, to rest and be held.

Just be in the liminal space, no – thing to do, no problem to be solved. You may call it a surrendering in to trust and find yourself resisting as it works on you and wears you down. Can we allow ourselves to trust that rest is the medicine for these times and that our body, mind, heart, and spirit ask us to have faith?

Benedictine monk and author Brother David Steindl-Rast defines faith as trust and courage. “Deep down there is only one faith that all human beings have, and that is that deep trust in life. Even our body expresses that trust in life by always taking another breath. We can’t even stop it. We can’t stop breathing.”

War will continue as it has since the first woman walked the Earth and created humanity. Inner and outer, we forget so that we may remember again and in that, we are both the light and the dark.

Pay attention to what’s initiating, to what’s shifting, to what’s coming into existence, and above all be gentle

– ask for support –

you can not see your shadows and your child parts when you are acting them out. 

We cannot do this work alone.

Pay attention to news, thoughts, insights, revelations, and more importantly what triggers your old survival patterns so you can understand where you came from and create your own safety. Then you will TRUST yourself, others, and life so you can live into your purpose. If you have pets, the best gift you can give them is to do your own deep work with your unconscious survival patterns so that they don’t take them on or act out in unwanted behaviors to get your attention.

I am here celebrating you, walking beside you, doing better.

– because we know how to do hard things, we are built for these times.

Much love always


PS: If you would like to develop the trust muscle and the skills to create an environment that supports your body and mind to set targets you reach, strengthen your spiritual resilience and ability to be with whatever is happening in yourself, or with a client, or out the world I would be honored to guide you. Together we can explore where you came from (trauma patterns) and how to create your own safety in the face of challenging circumstances and uncertainty.

You can book here for business

and here for your health and well being


and you can take the attachment style quiz which will help you understand how brilliant your nervous system was at keeping you safe and protected as a child.

and let me know what your style is and how you are going to use your hidden survival talents to your advantage 🙂