August has arrived with much anticipation of what the sacred 8:8 Lionsgate portal,the Leo constellation and the integrity of lionhearted leadership is bringing to our intuitive self-awareness, and multi dimensional listening heart space. In South Afican tradition August is also the month to honor your ancestors and give grief a sound for what is no longer and give gratitude for the biological adaptability of their survival patterns and will power that allowed you to be here now. This is the month to ackowledge the I AM presence, invoke the willpower and courage of the Lion heart to co create a new sustainable future.
I am also excited, and slightly apprehensive to welcome my daughter to UK soil after 3 years of separation. The last time I saw her she had just turned 13. Now she is 16 and has grown herself up without me. I wonder who she has grown into through a very difficult time in her life where her future has been dependent on what her father decides to do.
I wonder how to help her get free her from the parental projections about life and loss and money trauma. Of exile and immigration and homelessness as her father has decided to immigrate to the UK. The decision has been sudden and I feel her heart ache and grief deeply as she leaves behind the only home she has known since birth. I cannot imagine how she will move and metabolise the secondary losses of friendships and familiarity of places. I feel the grief of her other mother as she says good bye to Thalia – she raised her alongside me and for that I am truly grateful. Duduzile Ndlovu is and will always be my soul sister and Thalias, African mama. She has longed to birth a baby of her own for the last 12 years and I celebrate that she is pregnant afterall this time. In divine synchronicity as Dudu lets go of one daughter, she carries another in her wonmb space. The Universe works in mysterious ways !
Ironically, I remember protesting vehemently at not wanting to leave Zimbabwe at 16 with my family to start a new life in South Africa. It was not easy for any of us, and in our own ways, slow and steady we each moved the anger and grief and found more moments of joy than sadness and a sense of place. I am eternally grateful that my mother made the difficult decision to move us when she did. She gave my sister and I opportunities that would not have been available, had we stayed in Zimbabwe.
I hope that Thalia will someday look back on this new chapter of her life with gratitude too. In this now moment, my soul prayer is that I may be granted the patience, compassion and strength to be her lighthouse in the long, dark stormy descent and guide her back to her heart when she is ready.
She has officially been indoctrinated into the territory of the borderlands – a place depth psychology defines as the space in between made visible by the borders of others. Living as an expatriate, working as a change agent or medical intuitive, and significant life changes will put you there.
We’ve all been there. It’s the space in between who you were and who you are becoming. It’s a gap. A liminal space that can manifest as an identity crisis or a shapeshifting metamorphosis.The borderlands require you to live in your essence and use it as your compass. Your essence is the intuitive, irrational, sensing, subtle body that is tethered to a larger field of possibility than the one your will can manufacture. How? Do something several times a day that feeds your soul.
My hope is that you. me and my Thalia enter into this new chapter, with a surrender into grace and mercy. I know full well that when she finally lands here in a safe space she will demand to know what the heck just happened. I pray that she will let me hold her tight so that in her decompression she can release her anger in a healthy way that will give way to the grief so she can come to digest what is no more and lean into the fear of what lies ahead. As the brave borderland she has become may she tap into the intelligence of her imagination and use her body as a tuning fork.I pray that she decides that the universe has her back and look for evidence of this.
Living in the borderlands is a call and response. You call with your desired filled longing, and the universe responds. Dig deep into your ancestral DNA that understands that conscious intelligence doesn’t just reside in the human brain. May we see all the signposts. Pay attention.
As an interconnected being, I feel you feeling me. My grief is your grief. The pain of the sentients, the collapse of the climate is our pain, our collapse, our healing and our joy. We are all experiencing our own version of heaven and hell. Doing our best to make sense of these strange days and the contrasts.
I am in awe of your brave lion heart, your resilience to keep going in the face of much adversity. I have been under the water myself these past few weeks, grappling with my own questions and insecurities, gasping for reprieve. I have been letting go of illusions and constructs, dreams of me and my life the not me, and the regrets and grief for the way it was all supposed to turn out. It is dissolving and as disorienting as these times of transition can be, they are evidence of a sacred process occurring deep in the personal and collective soul.
The question now for so many of us is “what is calling to me from the depths of who and what I am, into a life of new vision, purpose, and meaning?”
As we engage in this holy reassembling, it can be so easy to lose track of our inner pilot light, our home base, whether we imagine this center as the sacred chamber of the heart and soul, the light of the spirit, or the ventral vagal safety-pathways of the holy human nervous system As part of nature, the anima and animus, we are biological living, breathing interconnected organisms woven together dynamically through intense emotional love/chaos/conflict/ shock dynamics, ancestral loyalties, historical cultures, past and parallel lifetimes.
Take time to slow down and discern what your heart and soul desire. Come home to the heart and trust you are not alone. Trust that there is a time and a place for everything. Know that when you feel your feelings they may break you open into a million tiny pieces only to put you back together stronger and more resilient than before. Let go of the need to control and walk through life knowing that all of the feelings are not you but the one that is aware of the feels of your true self and all the felt sense information. Don’t lose, numb or block yourself in the energetic weather that you miss out on the full embodied experience of being human. Acknowledge your limitations and that you are limitless in the true nature of who you really are. That there are no mistakes only choices to learn from the blessons and do better. That if you stop you won’t die, the world will go on.
My happy place has always been in nature with the animals or in the imaginal realms. In my desire to make a difference, to be useful, to serve more , to leave the world a better place than I found it I am sorry to admit that when Thalia was growing up there were many times when I made my own self important work a priority over her wellbeing. I can’t change what is done but I can do better now. I know she is going to need me to stop and sort and discern with her. To be fully present in her world so that she can fall apart in the safety of my arms. I know how easy it is when things get tough to escape into the busywork – remind me as I remind you livingly that we are built for these times- we can do the hard stuff.
I have mixed up some magic potions to help Thalia to root into this new land and this new cycle. To help move her anger in a healthy way so it doesn’t get trapped in her fascia and another to help her metabolise her grief and digest what has just happened for her not to her. I invite you to be your own medicine and use what the Earth and elemental nature beings offer up in silent support to your inner alchemist and healer.
Engage your subtle and normal senses as you blend your own healing potions and ask your body devas highest self what would be the most appropriate energetic healing frequencies to support you right now. Use your body as a pendulum or just trust the first number that comes up is the amount of drops required.
You can’t be certain of anything here. Unpredictability, lack of control, and often an overwhelming sense of being lost is the emotional landscape, but it doesn’t have to be.
If you are in the borderlands, throw your fear and faith into a backpack and make this a spiritual walkabout into the deep mystery of what is next. Limit your exposure to toxins like processed foods, alcohol, social media, and haters wherever they show up. Instead, fire up your cell’s energy centers, your mitochondria with nutrient-dense foods, pure water, restorative sleep, movement, and encounters with beauty. The path forward is made from the energetic charge of your embodied consciousness. You are made from the same stuff as the stars twinkling overhead in an energy universe. Running clean connects you to the quantum current inside of you where time and space shift and your future self eagerly awaits your arrival. be gentle on your soft animal body, the cellular upgrade of your ascension process is taking a lot of energy.
I am here if you need some love and fierce support.
Much love always in psyche and spirit
PS: Special 8:8:8 Sacred Medicine for the physical body and soul
If you would like me to co create with your own inner healer a special BG3 infused essential oil blend specifically for your bodymind along with an energy balancing quantum Bodytalk session for only $88 click here. Please note this does not include the actual essential oil blend only the downloaded recipe and BG3 energies to impregnate your blend once it is in the glass bottle with oils calibrated to the area you live in.
If you would like to invoke your inner healer and play with the healing energetic frequencies of essential oils yourself,here are some of my favorites I have used for myself and Thalia. They can be used ‘Neat” or mixed into a carrier oil, then impregnated with BG3 energy and love. Grief is governed by the metal element , lung/ large intestine/ nose/ skin so rubbing the oils between your hands to heat them up and breathing them in, or rubbing them over specific areas of the body can be very beneficial. To move grief requires safety so rubbing your ears or kidney points or the neck area to activate the vagus nerve can be helpful. Essential oils and the sense of smell allow you to activate and release intense emotions and sensations over brief durations – providing a small amount of stimulus to engage your body in releasing the pain without flooding and shutting down your system or keeping you stuck in denial.
Just place the bottle under your nose and breathe deeply, fully inhaling the oil for 3 – 7 breaths. It helps you breathe into and work through the emotion. Try to extend the exhale and really allow yourself to release the painful emotion and any associated pain and intensity
To promote Safety, Connection and belonging ( wood element liver/ gall bladder, consciousness of healthy anger)
Use grounding oils like Cedarwood, Cypress, Sandalwood, and Myrrh. Cedarwood helps address feelings of disconnection and loneliness and inspires a sense of belonging. Myrrh will ground and connect you both physically and spiritually to the Earth and the Lions Sandalwood also helps us ground and calm agitated emotional states.
To help move red hot anger use Peppermint, Frankincense and Myrrh to calm heat, stimulate movement and break up stagnation. Cinnamon is a warming frequency which will improve circulation as is Myrrh – a blood tonifier to bring joy to the heart complex.
Jasmine (Jasminium officinale): Helps improve mood, overcome stress and balance hormones. Research suggests that jasmine oil positively influences the nervous system, lifts depression and anxiety and soothes emotional stress. Jasmine can help support the heart, by regulating heart rate, blood pressure and breathing. Jasmine oil also known as a natural aphrodisiac for its libido-boosting and mood elevating qualities, capable of increasing physical signs of arousal — such as breathing rate, body temperature, blood oxygen saturation, and systolic and diastolic blood pressure.
Neroli (Citrus aurantium): One of the top oils for treating depression and anxiety disorders. It helps treat nervous tension, stress related conditions, and emotional problems. It lifts the mood and helps relieve nervous tension.
Roman Chamomile (Anthemis nobilis): A natural anti-histamine, noted for its soothing effects and anti-inflammatory properties. Research found it helps balance and inhibit excessive histamine responses.
Grief and Loss Support:
Spruce (Tsuga canadensis): Supports the nervous and glandular systems. Works great as a general tonic. It is mentally grounding, helps balance the solar plexus, stimulate the heart, and helps release anxiety and stress.
Bergamot (Citrus bergamia): During extreme mood swings, it has been known as a natural yet potent antidepressant. The relaxing properties of bergamot have been shown to reduce stress hormone levels in the body and prohibit the release of adrenalin which helps calm and move grief.
Geranium (Pelargonium Graveolen): soothes anxiety and depression and reduces stress. Helps relieve acute fear, extreme moodiness, abuse, hurt, and emotional crisis. It can also help overcome extreme grief.
Lemon (Citrus limonum): Supports the release of strong emotional grudges, grief, resentment, apathy, anxiety, and self-judgment. Promotes healthy self-approval, improved emotional clarity and awareness.
Orange (Citrus sinensis): Helps clear stagnant thoughts and grief, allowing the strengthening of focus toward positive thoughts. Has a sedative effect on the nervous system and helps calm anxieties, stress, tension, and nervousness.
Red Mandarin (Citrus nobilis): Helps switch off an overactive mind and promote relaxation. Supports nervous tension, restlessness and insomnia. Helps to connect with the inner child and release long held grief and sadness.
Rose (Rosa damascene): Helps to relieve stress, anxiety, apathy, depression, and indifference. Can support energy, confidence, and a positive mood.
Ylang Ylang (Cananga odorata genuina): Soothes the nervous system, calms the mind, relieves mental fatigue, anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Has strong antidepressant properties and it helps to bring the emotions into proper balance.