I won’t sugar coat this dose of bodymind heart (wreck) medicine because I know you demand the truth be truer than true – I also want to say THANK YOU for opening my love missives, as uncomfortable a read they often are, I honor your bravery, I see you and it matters to me to know how you really are right now – really – reply and let me know – what are you feeling right now, what are your doubts, your worries, your wins? I almost did not even attempt to write you tonight and actually send this out to you because honestly, I am feeling tired, emotional, messy….
Kind of like a more painful revisit to “this is how we live” melt down last week –
and the antidote to all of it so many of you said moved you deeply in the guided meditation we did together here
TO/ day I pendulated from calm, peaceful, connected to shitz creek awful – beyond the beyond moment to the next moment. I would like to think or better, FEEL the full moon always “brutifies def: beautiful and brutal and everything in between the depth and breadth of me, kind of like Pele does, she brings me to my knees andmakes me RE/member I – chose – all- of- this!!
That I am in this being human thingie for the long haul, kicking, screaming, crazy humming whether I want it or not. Perhaps you can relate?
I spoke more to
What does FREEDOM feel like , mean to you as USA celebrated 4th of July Inter -dependence
TO/day for me, as I spoke to above pendulated from sweet, beautiful moments of appreciating the little moments of –
connection to the small acts of grace
in the laughter of talk story because it lands in truth and raw, real, visceral NOW time
I won’t lie – I questioned the meaning making of…..
AWFUL- I arose eyes wide open……….
I won’t sugar coat it, or try to hide it from you
I know I will be okay, that the happy – peaceful -connected- belonging- clarity will return some time
BUT DAMNations today was a HARD day….
Waking still tired in my aching bones – more specifically in the sexual chakra, that being punched in the kidneys ouch in my lower back, both sides ( and NO – I have fortunately never been punched in the kidney)
——->>>>>>>>>>>regardless – you feel the hurt don’t ya?
And then saying hello to Father SUN, noticing a crow pecking at something in the car park, I felt drawn to find out what he was pecking at….
I wish I could have hit – control alt delete as I came upon a wings open like an angel baby bird,
CROW had been pecking at his rear end, bloodied, de-feathered and the worst part – ALIVE, lucid and in freeze state – as he endured, surrendered perhaps? to CROW’s appetite and intention to eat him alive…….
Side note: I spoke to what the sentient non human beings of Pachamama want us to know about life and death
—–>>>>>>.to learn who we came here to BE
and urge us to embody fully our human form
so we can create our OWN safety in a world that seems very dangerous and hostile right now.
So amidst the tears of grief – acknowledging a sacred contract between Crow and baby bird
– in the moment of living the work that has transformed, dare I say, “saved” so many lives over the past 20 plus years,
I had a “come to Jesus” angry, pissed off, somewhat WTF moment as I gently picked up baby bird and told him how sorry I was that he found himself at this moment between life and death where my projection of his suffering, made him feel the pain that was not there in that state of graceful predator/prey interaction where there is NO/thing holding them back from the completion cycle of
life-
death-
re/birth.
Non human species do not fear death, they just MOVE between worlds, they come, they go, they come, they go……
Those of you who have been on one of my retreats under ancient African skies in the company of hyenas, elephants, lions and other sacred sentients, who have taken one of my programs online like the Being Human through Animal Communications classes, know the story of me trying to end the life of a chameleon when I was 11, who was disembowelled, guts stuck on the hot tar road and still – heart beating alive……
Today with Baby bird I was reminded of that chameleon and his powerful lessons about life, death, liminal space and grief walking and the process this time being gifted such an incredible lesson – I chose another path. (I will speak about that this week, sooner than soon because, that Baby Bird and CROW, asked that I do.)
There were moments that felt like life times in the asking, I asked of you to consider…
“right now, right here – what does this moment, this present time require of past, this history of me?
To BE, where there is so little in the wretchedness of it to ask – what would love do here?”
I came back to the place I call home, to comfort, to familiarity, to safety
before the unfolding of the rituality of the day, of my responsibilities to the ancient wise woman I am caring for intending to spend some sacred time in the deep PAUSE
to meditate on my own impermanence – my own mortality
to call in the medicine of Baby Bird, and Crow, of m ancestral helping spirits to
help me – GUIDE me – teach me
what symbology is of this witnessing of life, death, in between –
of crow/ destroyer/ messenger/ shadow and baby bird/ innocence/ sacrifice/ surrender/ dragon alchemy medicine….
Right now – the messages from baby Bird and Crow, from my ascended, wise woman who knows jist wants to curl into the fetal position, to do the ugly cry, to invoke victim, the orphan child, the wounded child archetype along with the contrasting light, alchemist, empowered child. I am heart sick and very angry – it’s hard to breathe, I want to hunker down in a ball and cry forever….
just saying…… life sucks on soooo many levels, it’s my darling Thalia’s 14th birthday tomorrow and I wonder – where 14 years since the eve of her birth when `i was so excited to FINALLY meet her eye to eye, hold her in my arms, feed her have gone. I miss her so badly – it’s been 6 months snce we were together and I know she does not “need” me, but 14, oh so tender in the unfurling of who she is becoming and mothers and daughters – enough said….
Suffice it to say – you get to say NO more as a full sentence
(think suffocating – being pecked to death alive by some made up or very real, scary predatory monster somewhere in your life, that you are being called to stop the cycle of trauma and abuse
and claim your power, as deserving of this one, precious life – thank you baby Bird and Crow)
You get to REST, to RE-EVALUATE< to RESET…..
Use the powerful Full Moon eclipse in Capricorn to get really honest about
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT 6 months, a year, 10 years from now.
This futuring guided process will help you get really clear on that!
The full moon tonight in Capricorn brings the energy of finding a balance between work and home and ushering in change and progress.
What area of your life is out of balance?
Do you need to add in more “YOU” time? Or make adjustments to your work schedule?
As the Universe continues to call upon us as a collective to Be Better Humans and lead with LOVE,
I believe
We all need to Listen deeper, Learn wider, Love with total allowance
and Do Better. ( a BEing list os better than a doing list)
With this Full Moon comes the additional energies of a Lunar Eclipse.
So if you have been feeling restless – it is not without reason.
Honor your Human – rest and relax.
Ask yourself: Have you been allowing your head or your heart to lead you?
How can I listen more to my intuition and lead with my heart?
Here is what I will be doing more of tonight and tomorrow and the next, and the next next:
FORGIVENESS – Looking back at the last 30 days and uncovering who or what I need to forgive – where are (and were) my actions out of alignment
– what could I have done better?
Remember that forgiving ourselves is very important as well.
I like to write a letter of forgiveness to the person, I then read out loud
under the moonlight followed by the burning.
You can also burn this indoors – just be safe.
CLEANSING OF CRYSTALS AND ORACLE CARDS – I love to put all of my crystals under the moonlight (again, indoors is fine) and also open up my oracle decks that I have used throughout the month to cleanse and re-energize them
CANDLES and JOURNALING – Writing in my journal and asking for guidance for the next 30 days is also a ritual that I do while under the glow of the moon. I enjoy having a cup of cacao to drink as I journal.
MOON WATER – I put out two large jars of water and allow them to absorb the moonlight overnight. I include one jar in my bath and the other jar I drink a little everyday until the New Moon.
CUTTING CORDS and TIES: I will also be doing a cord cutting ritual tonight. To disconnect from generational vows and also to disconnect from past relationships that are energetically keeping me from moving forward.(I teach an intensive “Working with Entities, spirit guides and angelic realms” master class that is so life changing for people and animals – email me of you want the details)
SAGE – I have actually been sage-ing my body and my spaces everyday this past month – there has been so much energy and tension that has been circulating. My process is to open windows, light my sage, and bless, thank and clear the energies out of each room walking in a counter-clockwise movement. I ask for all negative energies to be dispersed and envision them leaving through the windows.
There are many other Full Moon rituals that I have done including moon circle dances, womb activations and potions.
What are the ways you will be celebrating the Full Moon tonight and every moon phase of emotional cleansing and releasing and calling in of the new?
Do you have other rituals that you include?
Also, if you are looking for healing, integrative and functional medicine and guidance and or my intuitive medicine on your heart led business, I have several private appointments available and open for the next 2 weeks of July.
I know, I never finished telling you about my weirding day of contrasts and pendulations, how it began with shadow dancing with death and ended in a full circle shitz creek kind of way in a dying process of sorts ( it feels simpler, more easeful to speak to that spontaneously and vulnerably rather than write words – so join me tomorrow over on my biz fb page here – just click FOLLOW so you get notified when to join me in spontaneous shifting and raising our energies together in alchemical medicine – to reach for the light and laugh together.
It was so powerful an experience, I am an awe of the speed at which things are changing (you really cannot make this stuff up – it’s that crazy, abundant, unbelievable…..)
Make this week matter.
You got this !! Keep going- this too is temporary and will pass!
Love always
Sarah-Jane
PS: Can I ask you to hit me a reply and let me know if you have been talking to the animals, if you have done an AC course, with whom – and if you would like to join me n the next live round of m Being Human Through Animals communication and healing progam or if you would come on a Journey on Ancient Soil with African sentients instead or as well??